...Just to Prove Landlords arn't all Dollars and Cents.
Question: If you were to drop a Slug and a Landlord off the roof of the 600 foot tall Calgary Tower, which one will hit the ground sooner?
Answer: Who Cares?
Question: What do you get if you cross a Landlord with a Weasel?
Answer: Absolutely no changes occur whatsoever.
What do you have if you see a Landlord burried up to his neck in concrete?
.......hopefully a cement truck driver on speed-dial.
4. What do Landlords do for fun?
Answer: How would I know? ...I haven't even seen mine in the past 8 months.
5. A group of tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Well," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same Landlord I have."
6. What do Landlords use for Birthcontrol?
Answer: Their personalities.
7. Question: What does a Landlord Do?
Answer: He takes your money.
8. Question: What is the definition of the perfect Tenant?
Answer: The Landlord doesn't know what your name is.
9. Question: What do you call 50 Landlords drowning in the bottom of the ocean?
Answer: A Good Start!
10. Question: What is the difference between a Porcupine and a box full of Landlords?
Answer: The Porcupine's pricks are on the outside.
Bonus - Excerpts from emails sent to Hope Street Staff:
"The toilet is blocked, this is caused by the boys next door throwing their balls on the roof."
"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."
"The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?"
"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."
"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."
"Our toilet seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."
"When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy."